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Thursday, April 12, 2007

JABBA THE ACCOUNTANT

Like a good car mechanic or a Dr. who won't inadvertantly kill you, a good accountant is someone you definitely want to have on your side as you plow through life. I discovered mine a few years back, in a tiny little office complete with dusty computers, piled papers, sports photos and a woodstove cranked to meltdown. He'd asked how much i wanted to get back when I handed him my W-2. "All of it." I joked. He didn't get the joke. "OK." he replied and went about getting it all back for me. I liked this guy. Then for quite a few years I didn't make any money. Taxes were the least of my problems. But this year the tide has turned and I came up with some work and some money. Today i went to see Jabba.
I saw the keys in the door so slowly opened it. Jabba was half the size of the office. He sat sweating behind his paper piled desk. "You know your keys are in the door?" I asked as he peered over his bifocals. He nodded. Then I remembered this was his routine. Keys in the door? Office opened. He was with a client. "Sorry. Can you do my taxes?" I asked, half way in the door. "Who are you?" I reminded him I was one of his clients. "Oh yeah. The guy at the church. Where you been?" I told him of my sour finances and lack of need of an accountant. He nodded. "You're an artist. Whaddaya think of that painting? My son did it." He pointed at a bad painting of a race horse. I looked at it and tried not to grimmace. "How old's your son?" I asked the bean cruncher. "Three." he answered. "He's a genius." I told him. "How's noon tomorrow?" he asked, pulling out his calendar. "Perfect." I said and left.
So this year instead of completing the EZ form in thick pencil on the 15th, my CPA is going to get everything in order and submit the forms and proper payment. I even bought an IRA and only claimed Paris and Nicole as dependents. For once in my life I feel like a solid citizen. I know some of my money will be used to keep the war going, but Jabba assures me we'll get that back next year. I trust him. Maybe I'll buy one of his kid's painting. Is that tax deductable?

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