ALAN GREENSPAN'S BIG DICK

My old man knows all about money and interest rates and the prime and sub-prime ad, nauseum. I know very little. An early in life poor credit rating that I, over the years, worked into a non-existent credit rating, helped me to stay out of the frey. No one outside of family and a very small number of friends would bank on me. In spite of this I acquired real estate and with it- debt. Then I whittled away at that debt and acquired more real estate. Now I have a dwindling bank account, some soon to be saleable real estate in a very soft market , but hardly any debt. Car- paid. Less than three years left on house mortgage. So my question to you Mr. Greenspan- How big is it?
A solid week of AG's omnipresent Groucho big nose and glasses face and even bigger ego is leaving me with only that one question. He answered everything else. He told Jim Lehrer he could smell reefer at fifty yards and John Stewert that Andrea Mitchell really dug backdoor action, then gave that trademark perverse giggle of his. I figure the guy's gotta be hung like a circus pony. Finally the old man and I had something in common to talk about. I asked why the marklets reacted to Mr. G so? The old man said that the market was basically irrational and that most days it just layed in wait for anything to set it off. He wasn't interested in speculating on length, but said he figured the ex Fed. chair for a girth man. "Like a baby's arm." he said.
John Stewart asked why the market wasn't really "Free". and why work was penalized not rewarded? Greenspan told him that no one had figured out how to change or predict human nature and that he and his buddies were working on it. I kept trying to catch a glimpse of trouser crotch but I think he's like Elvis was with TV- no shot below the waist. In the end you can't help but like the old geezer. Maybe someday we'll share a bone. He swears up and down he was reading in the other room while his bandmates were blowing some gauge. I believe that about as much as I do that lowering the prime half a percentage point is going to have any effect on my life, or that all he does is write long hand in the bath tub. For all his confidence Alan has got to be hung.