WORKING FOR THE WOMAN (no names have been changed to protect the innocent)

Driving back from Woodstock, where i've just checked the kitchen cabinets for my current client ( on a Sunday no less), I started to think about just who i'd been working for for the past 15 years. Almost all of my "bosses" have been women, and some pretty intertesting ones to boot. Here's the short list:

Candace Bieneke , E81st and 5th Ave.- the only female head of a major Manhattan law firm. Husband- Rick Bieneke (Bieneke library at Yale, most of Martha's Vineyard, S&H Green Stamps. He worked for Candace). This job took over a year to renovate the two floor apartment. Candace definitely wore the pants, but the Jamaican housekeeper Ellen raised the kids. Rick stayed out the way.

Jane Rosenthal, The Dakota 72nd and CPW- Movie producer of such films as Wag the Dog. Husband- Craig Hatkoff (investment banker) President Clinton once came to visit, as did Bobby DeNiro. He said to call him Bobby. I didn't talk to the president, but did inscribe the underside of a floor board- "Bill Clinton stood here." I'll bet it's still there.

Cynthia Carter, Bank St, West Village- Housewife, mom and overall nice person. Husband- Graydon Carter (Editor in Chief Vanity Faire magazine). I knew they were getting a divorce way before Page Six. We carpenters are sworn to secrecy on such matters. Cynthia's better off.

Tatiana Namath, The Dakota- I don't know what she did. Husband Joe Namath ( NY Jets Iconic quarterback of the Sixties). We built their young daughter's bunk beds, designed by an architect. A ship would have been cheaper. When they broke up, Tatiana took everything, even the mantle. The bunk beds remained behind.

Connie Chung, The Dakota- TV personality. Husband Maury Povich (also TV personality). I fixed their floor under the radiator, as their hyperactive kid handed me sharp tools, while the housekeeper took a much needed cigarette break. I never met either of the them.

Catherine Zeta Jones, E75th & CPW- MOVIE STAR. Husband Michael Douglas (movie star). They wanted me to butcher an expensive antique cabinet so their new flat screen Tv would fit. I could've stole any number of Oscars, the complete itinerary of their upcoming wedding, and Ms. Z-J's NY Health and Raquette Club ID. Once again I upheld the carpenter's code and left empty handed. I cried when I cut into that antique.

Patricia Clyne, Stone Ridge, NY- Since I'm currently employed by her I can't say much. Husband- Jim Webber. Jim and I both know who the boss is.