PURITY BALL CRASHER
Anyone who sez watching TV is a waste of time just isn't putting in the time it takes to get the total overview. On Saturday night Comedy Central aired five episodes in a row of South Park. These five were billed as the "Most Quoted." Of the five my favorite of all time is the "Towelie" episode. The show features the pot smoking, public spokesman for towels and their usage- Towelie. In a high stoner whine he warns the populace to not "forget your towel". And as the citizen ponders this seemingly out of the blue admonition Towelie whines "Wanna get high?" Then he lights one up and his big white eyes turn amber. I swallowed my tongue.
But as funny as this shit is, nothing compares to the news. In hushed, respectful tones, this evening a "newsperson" informed me of a practice growing in popularity across America. It is called a Purity Ball. With all the trappings of a wedding, a beefy young dad gathers his young daughters in cheezy formal wear around him. They hug. They gaze into each other's eyes. They dance. The girls are kinda hot, in a middle American pedophile way. Hair is piled up and makeup is "tastefully" slathered on. Dad is proud. The girls are dewy eyed. Then they sit down at the table, push the angel food cake to the side, and fill out what looks like a dance card. In a way it is. The girls are promising Daddy they will stay "pure" until marraige. They're filling out virgin contracts. Only daddy gets to dance with Jeannie Sue. Jimmie Bob must wait. Then without warning, a statistic flashes across the screen. "88% fail in their attempt to stay chaste." I swallow my tongue...again.
I also heard something about federal funding for these abstinence orgies. This kind of stuff is wrong on so many levels i don't know where to begin. Do these guys know that forcing their kids into becoming contract breakers right out of the box (so to speak) only aggravates those pulsating hormones? Everything eventually goes dewey and there ain't nothing daddy can do. To the 12% that pull it off Kudos, but they'd probably have gone that route without the Ball. If any of my friends with young daughters have one of these shindigs planned, well you know where to send the invite.
posted by mike osterhout @ 8:06 PM
1 Comments:
Regarding those Purity Balls that our government is helping fund....
It's interesting to note that many if not most of the churches promoting this idea are Reconstructionist denominations. Reconstructionism is a rapidly growing and arguably heretical sect of Christianity (due to the fact that its adherents follow the teachings of John Rousas Rushdoony and Gary North in addition to and often instead of those of Jesus Christ) and their goal is to eventually take over America and install their brand of faith as the state religion.
Father-daughter dances are a fine thing, and so is teen abstinence, but here are a couple of websites that will show you what ELSE many of these type of folks believe:
http://0rz.com/?vDVsP
http://0rz.com/?vcDYg
http://0rz.com/?NsCrB
And, here is a link for VisionForum, a HUGE promoter of the Father-Daughter retreat concept and one of America's leading homeschooling curriculum companies. VisionForum is run by Doug Phillips, son of ex-Reagan cabinet member Howard Phillips and pastor of Boerne Christian Assembly, a hyper-patriarchal Reconstructionist congregation where women are relegated to virtual slavery in their own homes, denied higher education, are not permitted to participate in prayer in the church services, make prayer requests in church, or even receive communion unless it is served to them by their husband or another male member of the congregation.
http://www.visionforum.com/
The Phillipses are quite the father and son team, too -- Howard Phillips is the founder of the Constitution Party, whose 2004 presidential nominee was League of the South member Michael Peroutka. While the Constitution Party courted the votes of the League of the South (identified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center) and other neoConfederate groups in 2004, Howard's son, Pastor Doug, was hard at work garnering the Christian vote, encouraging his congregation to vote for Peroutka and warning them that they were not spiritually "at liberty" to vote for the Bush or Kerry because of their unBiblical stances on key issues.
And our government is funding father-daughter dinner dances for these groups. Sweet.
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